Posts Tagged ‘apartment’

Plant Killer

Posted: 18/03/2011 in Random
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Ok, here’s the deal. In my previous post I mentioned “she” has upgraded my apartment from – 2 star to a respectable 3 star. Part of the improvements was some indoor plants. Four to be exact, namely; Bobby, Charles, Tina and Tool.

Tina and Tool look something like this.

I said look like..

I was happy to have some responsibilities, something to look after and care for. I was pretty excited, but nervous at the same time because my track record for keeping things alive isn’t very good. To put it simply, I could probably kill an inanimate object.

I had my instructions, water them once a week, not too much and not too little and give them sunlight. Pretty simple, right? Well not for me.

Wait, actually I followed those instruction but I must have done something wrong because Tina and Tool started looking sickly. They looked like they had got the Hiv. Plant style.

In a last-minute effort to save their lives “she” took them to a spa for plants, and by spa I mean a proper garden, which in Dubai isn’t the easiest thing to do.

Now I’m just looking after Bobby and Charles, hoping and praying that they don’t contract the deadly Hiv. Also I have started looking after the wall who I have named “Angelina”. I will give updates on Angelina in a couple of weeks. 

New project

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I’m sure I have a split personality. There is “Adam” and then there is “Monkey”.
Generally, I’m a pretty care free person who doesn’t really mind what happens in my personal life, however

Adam is the raging, stern-faced and employee feared monster.

"Ha ha, You all gonna suffer!"

And Monkey, of course the light-hearted, joking naughty little kid.

"Let's have some fun"

The takeover begins… of course when “Monkey” is around. And I only say “Monkey” because that’s what I am called most of the time. Not that I look like a monkey but probably this a nick name in my relationship, designed to subconsciously to put me in my place, so to speak.

And yes, chances are I will get hit with a frying pan when “she” reads this. Already as I’m typing this post, I can feel the blinding pain, the “clang” of hard metal smashing into my soft yet beautiful scalp.

Back to story, I stay in a modest apartment and as Monkey I have  little  no urge to make it look grand or beautiful. I’m 100% happy with the way it is. Yes it looks bare, yes it’s barren, and yes it could look better however, considering that I work most of the time and rarely have friends over there is no actual need to improve it . “She” has taken it as a personal mission to improve my living quarters, and I must admit “she” is damn good at it.

before

Compared to the bland unsightly hovel my apartment has been transformed into a joyous happy home where there are soft under tones of moods and colours, a hint of ying and yang. So now when I come home from work, a tired and beaten “Adam”, I can transform quickly into “Monkey” with the comfort and joy.

After

And at that point I must end it. Before you think I’m a complete Asshole know that I am really happy with what my place looks like now and I prefer being “Monkey”. Currently the score board looks something like this:

“She” 2341

 “Monkey” -513

  “Adam” 6

Thanks Baby for fixing my place!

Bitch Session

Posted: 06/01/2011 in Random
Tags: , , ,

So finally I have moved to my apartment, it’s been a long wait but it seems to have been worth it. Large spacious room that are completely devoid of anything that resembles furniture. Give it time I say. But what really gets me is the infrastructure of this complex. Ok fine, it houses a lot of people, but what the fuck were they thinking.

 Since when do you have two entrances/exits (with barriers) when you have thousands of people staying there. So like 1+1=2 right? So make more fucking access points so I can cook my fucking dinner instead of waiting in traffic

 Instead of being able to turn on to the side of the complex when you happen to reside, you have to go completely out of your way, perform an irritating u-turn and then somehow navigate your way to your unmarked building. The complex is devoid of life, not a tree, shrub, bush, flower or blade of grass is to be seen. Only dust, dirt and stupid cricket players. Ahhh the joys!

But there are positives, yes I’m not just a pessimistic. I have friends staying close by (poker nights, hell yeah), a good view of the Burj Kalifa, awesome bar area, hot water and electricity. So it’s not all that bad.

 Enough of the bitching session it’s time for my game of street cricket, shit I hope I don’t get hit by a car.