Posts Tagged ‘south africa’

The Flight

Posted: 19/11/2010 in Random
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So finally we arrived in south africa, the flight was exactly what I expected, painful. It started when I had already checked in, knowing that I gonna have to go with out a smoke for 8 or so hours, I was scanning with my eagle vision for a smoking room at the dubai airport.

After half an hour of continuous scanning I found one. Eureka! But the joy in my heart slowly dissipated as I read the sign,”Closed for maintainance”. So with a weary heart I continued on, my feet were heavy but we time passing and I needed that last quick fix. Again I found one but it looked like everyone that smokes had the god damn same idea.

A smoking room at Dubai airport is roughly a 6×4 room with little or no ventilation and 30 people inside. If you want to smoke you don’t even have to light one up, you kind of just take a couple of deep breaths and continue until your eyes are watering and when leaving you feel your way out, bumping and groping others in the same predicament.

With nicotine at optimum levels I proceeded to board the plane, now to hear other south africans talking was like rain in dubai. Awesome! Luckily for me no the seat next to me was empty so I could enjoy a little extra space but that helped fuck all. Those seats are just small, crap and uncomfortable. To ease my suffering I decided to have a couple of beers, big mistake. Yes the beers did help me to sleep but when you have a beer and no cigarette it just doesn’t feel right. Anyway after my little snooze I woke up to find that the desert was in my mouth. So dry! Asking the hostess for some water she gave me a death stare of note and said,

“Sorry, we don’t have bottles of water but you can have five of these water tub containers.”

Needless to say the water tub containers consists of one sip. Why like this? Cursing my need to have beers on the plane, I promised myself never again will I drink on a plane. Damn crap Heineken.

The rest of the flight passed without incident save one, the extraordinary great feeling of seeing my country from the sky, knowing that I would be landing soon. I was home!

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So the story goes that Ona is coming with me to South Africa  for a short vacation, I tried to explain  to her some of the finer points of what to expect( i failed miserably) and as a result this blog was born.  

Myself coming from the country I know what to expect, however this is a crash course of what you could possibly see if you had to come. So lets start it off with the worst, you could see a full scale strike, this properly happens every 2nd week in the land of S.A. It could because the people are not being treated fairly or maybe this is a way to get out of work without getting fired. Possible causes: Government screwing them over; whites screwing them over; blacks screwing them over; bosses screwing them over – basically if you are getting screwed you can strike!

No matter where you drive in S.A. you will always see beggars, at the stop streets, robots, outside your house, shopping centres, every where. At times it is difficult but you can’t give cash to everybody or else you will be the beggar at the end. At least some of them get a bring a smile on such a sad tale.

Another thing people visiting S.A. will have to get used to is guns, at ATMs, banks, malls, building you will see stuff like this. Pretty messed up. I always make a point never to look into those eyes, the eyes of the SAPS, you never know what you are dealing with. Corruption!

Sometimes things are so bad you have to start locking your stuff up, even your slopes when you go for a walk on the beach.

But all isn’t that bad until you go to the infamous Durban’s ex- point road. Words can’t describe. Seeing is believing. When you have seen it, send a reply and what ever you do, don’t go there at night. At least not without some AK-47 and bullet proof vests.

But all is not bad, you can always go look at the awesome wild life just around the corner, it’s bound to give you some surprises. Like a huge monster elephant who is willing to take advantage of the your car( with you in it).

Or you can go live life in the wild side like going on the biggest swing rope in the world. oooo yeah. Shit, I hope they look after their equipment there.

Or you can hang out at the beach, mind you 2 hours in Durban’s sun could give you skin cancer. But it’s god damn worth it, so try it out.

Yeah, it’s pretty cool. definitely hard not to become a beach bum over there, in fact it’s a way of life. Surfing, spliff, beer, road blocks, parties, hangovers. All you could ever want!

And if the city is too much you can always hang out in the Drankensberg, mountains, rivers, wildlife, and the occasional crazy baboon who chases after you for no reason.

And finally the awesome bar 10 meters from my mom’s place, I practically have an arrow painted on the road to my mom’s doors step  for those extra bad nights and my brothers can use them too.

So there is the quick crash course on what to expect while visiting Durban, South Africa. To be honest I was joking about most of the stuff…… or maybe you just have to see for yourself. One final thought though, don’t get any paper work done in S.A. because it’s really like this

So come, enjoy, and tell your friend about the great or not so great times you had. But you will never, never forget a vacation here.